


You're All I Want

by charliechick117



Series: How to Fix a Broken Thief [2]
Category: The Hobbit (2012)
Genre: M/M, References to Suicide, References to self-harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 15:59:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charliechick117/pseuds/charliechick117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dwalin only wanted Nori to be happy.  To see him smile and laugh and be himself again.  He only had to convince Nori that he didn't have a hidden agenda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're All I Want

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of Exit Wounds (which is pretty obvious since it's a series?)
> 
> You should read Exit Wounds first, it might clear things up, but you don't have to.
> 
> Title is from Everything by Lifehouse.

When Dwalin heard that Nori was coming on the quest for Erebor he didn't know what to feel.  Balin had told him, knowing of his brother's feelings, that Nori would join Thorin along with his brothers.

The first thing that came was anticipation.  He hadn't seen Nori in ages.  Not since the stolen mink hat.  Dwalin had tried to see Nori, to try and talk with him and to explain himself, but every time he stopped by the house, Nori was gone.  The only sign Nori was even coming home were the paintings on the wall.

The second feeling was much stronger.  Dread.  This quest was dangerous.  It was a walk into a dragon's lair, for Mahal's sake.  Dwalin remembered what Nori was like when his beloved left him.  Wild, reckless, desperate.  Dwalin didn't want to see that again.  He wanted Nori's smile and laughter.  This was too close to those days and Dwalin wouldn't dare see Nori broken again.  Not if he could help it.

Naturally, the first order of business was to confront Thorin Oakenshield, Acting King of Ered Luin.  His throne room was large and empty.  One large chair at the end of the hall acted as his throne.  Thorin smiled and gestured for Dwalin to come forward.  Dwalin stood his ground.  This was guard to king, not friend to friend.

"Your Majesty," Dwalin bobbed his head.  "I make a formal request for your company."

"Spare the formalities, friend, this is about your thief," Thorin said.  "Balin warned me you might come."

"He is not my thief!" Dwalin protested.

"Indeed," Thorin smiled.  "I understand you have personal feelings toward Nori and his part of this quest, but I will not send him away."

"Please," Dwalin said.  "You don't understand what has happened to him, what he's been through.  What if he goes back?"

"He won't.  You'll be there and I was told you helped him most.  His brothers will be there as well.  It will be a tight company, Dwalin, I doubt Nori will do anything you won't know about."

"He'll make it look like an accident!"

"He is coming, Dwalin," Thorin narrowed his eyes.  "I suggest you put your personal feelings aside."

"But-"

"Your King has spoken, Son of Fundin," Thorin said firmly.  "Will you deny his word?"

Dwalin bowed his head.  "No, your majesty."

Thorin's hands were on his shoulders then.  Dwalin looked up and saw Thorin looking down on him with a soft expression.

"You helped him, Dwalin," Thorin said.  "I saw him at his lowest.  I stood with you while he was in prison.  And I saw you help him.  You may not be able to fix everything at once, dear friend, but you can fix it one step at a time.  Have patience.  Believe in him."

But how could he?  How could Dwalin believe in Nori?  Part of Dwalin wanted to.  Part of him wanted to believe that Nori was better, that Nori was good and happy.  But another, stronger, more insistent part of Dwalin nagged him.  He remembered Nori lying to him, hiding the marks.  What if that was the Nori that won out?  What if Nori was never happy again?  What if he was so wrapped up and tangled up in his misery that he couldn't smile anymore?  That not even Dwalin could fix it?  What would happen then?

Dwalin wasn't sure he could live with that.

Unknowingly, his feet brought him to Dori's teashop.  It was a quaint place, with tables and cushions abounding and always a cup of warm tea for any passing by.  Nori's paintings decorated the walls (he'd gotten quite good over the years) and decorative knots of thread dangled from the rafters.  Dwalin watched as Dori puttered around the shop, all smiles at his customers and shouting orders at his poor serving girl.

No sign of Nori though.  Dwalin tried to ignore how upset that made him feel.

"Mister Dwalin!" Ori piped up from behind him.  "Why not come in for a cup?"

"Uh, no thanks," Dwalin shook his head.  "Not since last time... you know."

"Dori didn't mean for it to be scalding," Ori chuckled, adjusting the bag on his shoulder.

"But he did mean to aim between my legs?"

Ori blushed and laughed.  "Unfortunately, he did.  If you're with me though, Dori wouldn't do such a thing!"

"Nori's not home, is he?"

Ori's face fell.  "No.  He said he'd be home soon though, for the quest.  If you want, I'll let him know you stopped by again?"

"Better not," Dwalin shook his head, turning to walk away.  "If he wanted to see me then he'd find me."

"He might not know you're waiting," Ori said softly to Dwalin's back. 

* * *

Dwalin didn't get to see Nori until they were crammed into a little hobbit hole.  As far as reunions went, it was one the worse.  There were ten other dwarves, a wizard, and their esteemed hobbit host crammed around them.  Dinner was a ruckus, the singing was joyous, then the real reason they were here came up along with Thorin.  Dwalin didn't get a chance to talk to Nori until well after dinner when Bilbo the Hobbit was sitting in his armchair with a mug of tea and Bombur was raiding the pantry.  With Ori writing in his book and Dori mothering over him, Dwalin took his chance to find Nori and corner him.

"Hello," Nori said, not meeting his eyes.

"Hi."

"It's been a while."

"Few years."

"Been busy."

"Doing what?"

"This and that."

"We should, um, talk."

"We are talking."

"I mean about before."

Nori's body stiffened but he still didn't look at Dwalin.

"I mean we need to talk about us," Dwalin clarified.

"There's nothing to talk about," Nori said sharply, folding his arms.  "You want something and I can't give it to you.  That's all there is."

"What about the kiss?" Dwalin asked.  "With the mink hat?"

Nori looked at Dwalin then, his gray eyes hard as stone.  "That was called escaping."  He pushed past Dwalin and into the front room.

Dwalin let him go.

* * *

Other than the trolls and the elves and being hunted by orcs, things weren't so bad on this quest.  Mostly it was walking, riding, and waiting.  Dwalin spent most of his time watching Nori carefully.  Nori's weapon was a quarterstaff of some kind and a knife on his waist.  The knife made Dwalin twitchy.  He didn't like seeing Nori so close to something so sharp.  He was worried, during the fight with the trolls, that Nori would get himself hurt, but the thief was fine.  Hardly a scratch on him in fact.

Still, Nori wasn't perfect by any means.  Sometimes at night he would start shaking and have trouble catching his breath.  The first time it happened, Dwalin had wanted to go over to him and hold his hands like he did before.  He was about to when Nori pulled out a long strand of thread and started weaving and knotting it.

"It's to keep his hands busy," Ori explained to him that night.  "He doesn't want to be bringing his paints and charcoal everywhere he goes.  So he started learning the language of knots."

Most of those knots were gifted to Dori and Ori.  A few made it to the others of the company.  Bofur got quite a few, having become fast friends with Nori.  Fili and Kili, being young and curious, were given a matching pair.  Gloin got one to give to his wife.  Dwalin couldn't help but eye them with envy.  To be given one of those delicate knots was a sign that Nori accepted you.

Dwalin wanted one with a passion.

At least Nori was looking at him.  Even if it was it quick glances that ended far too soon.

The company spent a few days in Rivendell, relaxing and tending to wounds.  Nori was laughing and smoking and making eyes at Bofur who made eyes back.  It was all in teasing and good fun, but it sunk like a stone in Dwalin's gut.  He hadn't tried to speak with Nori since Bag End.  It was just like before.  Nori would come around in his own time.  Dwalin just had to wait.  Thorin came up to him on their last night and asked that Dwalin inform everyone to be ready to leave by dawn.

Most of the company were at their little camp.  The only one missing was Nori.  Dwalin found him at a bridge on the outskirts of Rivendell, a waterfall behind him and feet dangling over the edge.  His knife was on his lap and his fingers were twisting knots with rapid movements.  Dwalin's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the blade but Nori's skin was clear of any blemishes.  That didn't lessen the ache.

Slowly and carefully, Dwalin made his way to the bridge.  He sat down beside Nori, keeping a respectable distance away.  He didn't say anything, just watched as Nori's fingers twisted the thread into intricate knots and weaves.  He dropped each one into the small stream below, letting it drift away.

"I wondered when you'd come looking," Nori said, cutting a piece of thread with his knife.

"Were you waiting?"

"No," Nori said a bit too quickly, knotting the thread and dropping it.

"Thorin wants us to leave at dawn," Dwalin said.

Nori hummed, eyes fixed on his work.

"What do they say?" Dwalin asked, watching the small knots float away.

"Broken," Nori dropped another.  "Defiled.  Empty."

"What about the others?  The ones you give away."

"Dori's say 'protector'," Nori said softly.  "Ori's say 'treasure'.  Bofur's says 'friend'.  Fili and Kili have matching ones that say each other's names."

Dwalin hummed and let the silence fall again.  No doubt the others were packing, preparing for their flight in the morning.  Dori's probably tearing apart all of Rivendell to find Nori.  The image made Dwalin smile.

"Did you-" Nori started to say.  "I mean- didn't you want to talk?"

"That can wait," Dwalin said.  "We'll talk when you're ready."

They didn't talk.  There was no movement other than Nori's fingers twisting the thread and dropping it into the water.  It was a comfortable silence, with the little waterfall rushing behind them and the small trickle of the stream beneath their feet.  The moon was high in the sky when Dwalin made a noise for them to head back.  They needed a good few hours of sleep if they were going to be back on the road by morning.

Nori pressed two knots of bright red thread into his hands.  They were weaved with beautiful precision.  One was an elegant flower with pointed tips and the other was the shape of a miniature bird.

"Light and peace," Nori whispered.

He kissed Dwalin on the cheek and disappeared into the night.

* * *

Dwalin tried not to think anything of the kiss or the knots, but he couldn't help himself.  Perhaps Nori was finally accepting him.  Dwalin only wanted whatever Nori could give and maybe this was Nori's way of saying "yes, I'll give you what I can".  But they crossed the Misty Mountains and not once did Nori spare a glance for Dwalin.  He still gave frequent knots to the rest of the company (even Bilbo had one) but never one to Dwalin.

"It's not that bad, really," Ori said when Dwalin expressed his concern at not receiving a knot publicly.  "Oin's knot says 'listen', Bifur's says 'voice', Bombur's says 'hunger', Thorin's says 'arrogant' and Bilbo's says 'foolish'."

"Why would he do that?"

"It's his way of teasing without them knowing.  Knot language is only common among thieves.  It's their way of communicating."

"Then how do you know?" Dwalin smirked as Ori flushed.

"Nori taught me," Ori said.  "The knots in the teashop all say that it's protected and watched out for and a good thing too or else Dori would've been robbed blind."

"But your knots say treasure," Dwalin pointed out.  "Nori isn't teasing you."

"Nori doesn't give away knots to people he's uncertain of," Ori said, his fingers running over the purple knot on his cardigan.  "They're like his label, I suppose.  Dori's been our protector and I've been their treasure just as Bofur's been his friend.  I can guarantee, Mister Dwalin, that by the end of the quest everyone in the company will have a better knot in their possession.  Even you."

Dwalin thought on those words every night in the mountains.  Why was he labeled 'light' and 'peace'?  The most common answer was that Dwalin was a guardsman by trade.  He brought light to criminals and kept peace in the Blue Mountains.  That is a perfectly reasonable answer to why those were his knots.  But it was the way that Nori gifted them that made Dwalin second guess himself.  These knots were personal, meant for the two of them.  As far as Dwalin could tell, no one else knew the knots were saying anything.  Just Nori and Ori and neither of them made to explain it.

There was a reason why Nori told Dwalin those knots read 'light' and 'peace'.  Dwalin just had to figure it out.

All thoughts of that flew from his mind when they were caught in a thunder battle.  Dwalin kept a hand on Ori and another on Bilbo as the ledge they were standing on moved.  Through the rain and by flashes of lightning, Dwalin saw Nori safe on a solid mountain path.  At least if Dwalin died here, he could die knowing Nori was alive.  Their ledge sped for the edge and, with a great shout and a heave, Dwalin jumped onto the other ledge, dragging Ori and Bilbo with him.

There was a scare where Bilbo and Thorin almost fell of the edge, but then they were safe and clustered in a dry cave.  Nerves were running high for all of them and each set of family members would not be parted.  Fili and Kili clung to each other in a corner, whispering softly with Thorin watching over.  Oin and Gloin were in another, stoically sitting close together.  Dori mothered over Nori and Ori with emotion heavy in his voice.  Bifur, Bofur and Bombur sent each other shaky smiles and spoke a little in Iglishmek.  Dwalin rested his forehead gently against Balin's and breathed.

Nori tapped Dwalin's shoulder and gestured to a dark, almost secluded, corner.  Balin gave a knowing smile and let Dwalin go.

"Something wrong?" Dwalin asked, glancing over Nori for any cuts or bruises.

Nori shook his head.

"Would you..." Nori started to say.  "I mean... if you could please just..."

"Nori?" Dwalin was concerned.  Nori had been laughing and smiling on this quest.  He had the audacity to bury a chest of treasure from the trolls' hoard.  Even when Nori had bad nights, he still had a smile while threading knots.  This was just like before.  When Nori had been broken and shattered and hurting.  It ached something awful inside Dwalin, like a constant stomachache.  He wanted to protect Nori, keep him safe and make him feel loved.  Dwalin reached out and touched Nori's arm.

That was the trick.  Nori looked up at Dwalin, barely concealed tears in his eyes.

"Hold me?" Nori whispered.

Dwalin didn't need to hear anything else.  He pulled Nori close and held him tight.  Nori was shaking and his breathing was rapid, but his fingers curled around Dwalin's hair and he pulled them even closer together.  Dwalin ran his hands up and down Nori's back, whispering into his ear and pressing soft kisses in his hair.  He didn't let go until Nori's tremors stopped.

He considered telling Nori he loved him.

But Thorin barked at them all to get a good rest and Nori slid away to sit with his brothers.  Dwalin slept on the hard ground feeling much too cold.

* * *

Nori wouldn't stop looking at Dwalin.  With the goblins, orcs and eagles, Dwalin could see why.  There were a few too many close shaves with death for Dwalin to be comfortable.  He wanted to gather Nori up in his arms and never let him go.  They camped at the base of the Carrock for a night, taking a well earned rest and time to wash themselves in the river.  The next morning, Gandalf led them to one of the largest homes Dwalin had ever seen.

Beorn was a kingly host, allowing the dwarves (and hobbit) to stay for as long as they needed.  He provided plenty of food and drink and wonderfully soft beds.  It was a welcome paradise from the goblin caves.

The dwarves celebrated the only way they knew how- with feasting.  It went late into the night and Beorn was happy to keep the plates full.  One by one, the company trickled to bed.  Ori, who had been talking with Dwalin, turned in early.  Alone, Dwalin watched the company.  They seemed to be having an eating competition between Bombur and Bilbo.  Bofur was cheering his brother on and Bilbo was eating with a confident smirk.  Nori was singing with Fili and Kili, their tankards full.  Dwalin soaked it in.

That was the Nori Dwalin hoped to see forever.  A happy Nori with smiles and laughter.  Sometimes he was there and sometimes he wasn't.  Nori glanced over and caught Dwalin's eye.  Dwalin smiled and Nori flushed.

That night on his pillow were two more red knots.

Ori laughed when Dwalin showed them to him in the morning.

"Hope and strength," Ori said, pointing to each one.  "These are well done.  Much better than the ones he gives me."

Dwalin shoved them in his pocket and ignored how happy that made him feel.  Something must have shown on his face because Ori smiled.

"He likes you," Ori said.  "He told me about how he stayed with you for a while, before he came home again.  You really helped, Mister Dwalin.  I don't think my brother would be here if it wasn't for you."

"I don't think he cares for me that much," Dwalin sighed.  "I don't mind it.  I'm not asking for him to give me everything.  I'm not asking for him to give me anything.  All I ask is for him to be happy.  He deserves it."

"You make him happy," Ori said.  "He doesn't show it but I don't think he knows how to anymore."

Once again, Dwalin found himself looking for Nori.  The thief had been talking with him more frequently, but always within the company.  He rarely made eye contact, always looking away when Dwalin caught him.  But if Ori was right (and he usually was) and Nori had forgotten happiness and love, then Dwalin was going to show him, one step at a time.

Nori was in the garden, weaving long stalks of flowers together sitting cross-legged on the grass in the shade of a large oak tree.  Dwalin sat beside him.

"Not as easy as thread," Nori murmered.  "But it'll make a lovely crown for Thorin."

The image of Thorin wearing a crown of flowers made Dwalin chuckle.  Nori smirked and blushed.

"Do you want to talk now?" Nori asked.

"No," Dwalin shook his head, pulling out his pipe.  "I just want to hear you breathe."

Nori flushed and continued weaving the flowers together as Dwalin smoked.  It was the same comfortable silence in Rivendell.  Dwalin loved it.  It was peaceful and beautiful.  There were so many things that needed to be said between them, so many promises left unsaid, feelings left unmentioned.  Yet, in this quiet moment, there was no need for words.  There was only companionship between them.  A silent token that Dwalin would always find Nori.  That he would always be there.

"I can't," Nori broke the silence.  "I don't know what you want from me, but I can't give it."

"I don't want anything," Dwalin said honestly, leaning back against the tree.

"Everyone wants something," Nori shot back.

"I want to hear you breathe," Dwalin repeated.  "I want to see you smile and hear you laugh."

"What else?" Nori asked.  "Whatever else you want from me I can't give."

"And why do you believe there is anything else?"

"There always is!" Nori practically shouted.  "No one just does things out of the goodness of their hearts!  Not for me!  I'm a broken soul and everyone else can see that.  You can't fix me, Dwalin.  Part of me is gone and lost and shattered forever and it's not coming back!  And I was a fool to think it ever could!"

Nori stood up and threw the flowers to the ground, taking care to tread on them when he walked away.  Dwalin sighed and ran a finger over the four knots in his pocket.  Light, peace, hope and strength.  Nori had named him and Dwalin would honor those names.

* * *

Nori didn't look his way during their travel through Mirkwood.  He spent his days beside Bofur, swapping stories and telling jokes.  Then the food dwindled, Bombur fell into an enchanted sleep, and the moral of the company plummeted.  Temper grew short and conversation stopped.  There was only moving in daylight and sleeping on hard ground with empty stomachs in pitch blackness.  The forest sucked the life out of everything.  The longer they walked the more despondent they became.

Sitting in a circle with their last bit of provisions, Dwalin had his first thoughts of doubt.  They were going to die in this forest.  Erebor would never be reclaimed.  Their bodies would never be found.  They would die, be eaten by the monsters in the darkness, and no one would ever know.

A small cough broke Dwalin from his thoughts.  Dori stood in front of him, hands on his hips.

"Yes?" Dwalin asked.

"I don't approve of you," Dori said without preamble.  "Nori is broken and fragile and I think he deserves much better than you after what he's been through.  Ori seems to think otherwise."

Dwalin knew all this, but he nodded anyway.  It was the right thing to do as Dori nodded back.

"However, you are the only one who ever got through to him," Dori said.  "He's dwindling.  I can see him staring at his knife, thinking about it.  He won't ask for your help again but he needs it.  He needs you.  You're the only thing that can ground him."

The next night Dwalin moved his bedroll next to Nori's.  It was just like old times.  Nori would start to shake and his breathing would catch and he fiddled with his thread and knife, eyes wild with panic.  Dwalin would gently take Nori's hands in his and hold him close.  The deeper they went into the forest, the hungrier they got, the more frequent Nori's attacks were.  Bofur, who was busy tending to his brother, looked at Dwalin to keep Nori going.  Dori and Ori, who were struggling with each other, had trusted Dwalin to keep Nori safe and whole.

Dwalin could do that.  He would hold Nori's hand as they traveled, just to keep Nori grounded.  No one said anything.  They were all holding each other at this point.

"I've thought about it," Nori said into Dwalin's chest one night.  "Just a quick slice across my neck and I'd be free."

"Don't you dare," Dwalin growled, holding Nori closer.

"No more of this," Nori sighed, eyes drifting shut.  "No more pain or emptiness."

Dwalin could see the appeal.  Part him he agreed with Nori.  There was nothing in this forest but an early grave.  What was the point anymore?  He touched the knots in his pocket.  Light, peace, hope, strength.  They kept Dwalin's spirits up, barely.  Nori was counting on Dwalin to be strong.

When things seemed to be at the worst, when the company was ready to roll over and let death take them, they saw the smallest glimmer of hope.  Lights and food, deep in the forest.  Like a mirage, the vision vanished when they came too close.  Then they were taken by spiders, freed by Bilbo, and captured by elves.  There were worse fates, but Dwalin was hard-pressed to find any.

There was one silver lining to all this.  As prisoners of Thranduil they were at least given food.  Dwalin, alone in his cell, ran his fingers over the knots in his possession.  He couldn't help but wonder how Nori was holding up.  They lost their weapons when the elves captured them, but Nori was always creative about inflicting pain to himself.  Hopefully the elves would be smart enough to not let Nori have anything remotely sharp.

Bilbo came around not a few days later with news of the other dwarves and a plan for escape.  Dwalin asked him to check on Nori, to make sure he was okay, healthy, and whole. Bilbo said he would and vanished.  It was days later when Bilbo broke them out, ushering them to the cellar and shoving them into barrels.  As far as escapes went, it was one of Dwalin's most unpleasant.

But they were welcomed to Laketown with honors and great excitement.  They were given a house and anything else they might need.  Ori sobbed with relief beside Dwalin.  This was to be their final rest before they went to the mountain.  Even Thorin was willing to spend a few weeks resting.  The celebration of their arrival went far and wide and the feast was grand.  Yet the company didn't stay long and, once formalities were over, the fourteen of them went back to their house and had a celebration of their own.  A chance to be with each other and take comfort that they were all alive and well.

Halfway through dessert Nori brought out dozens of knots that he had made in Mirkwood.  As he gifted them to the members of the company, Ori whispered what they all meant.  Courage for Bilbo.  Leader for Thorin.  Gentle for Bifur.  Bofur and Bombur both got Family.  Oin's read Healer.  Gloin's was Trust.  Fili and Kili got Laughter.  Balin's said Brother.  Dori got Protector and Ori received Treasure.  A knot was placed into his hands and Dwalin looked at Nori in surprise.  Nori's cheeks grew faintly pink and he leaned forward until his lips were brushing Dwalin's ear.

"Everything," he whispered.

* * *

Nori had taken to sleeping with Dwalin, curled up in his arms.  Dwalin never pushed him away and never pulled him closer.  He let Nori decide how their sleeping arrangements would be.  Sometimes Nori slipped between his arms and curl against his chest.  Other nights Nori was on the other end of the bed, not even their feet touching.  Dwalin loved it.  He would stare at the ceiling and listen to Nori breathing beside him and be at peace.

"Remember when I almost got stabbed?" Dwalin asked one afternoon.  They were sitting on the balcony together.  The rest of the company having decided to explore Laketown.

"Which time?"

"When you were living with me."

Nori nodded.  "That was when I left."

"I was thinking about it," Dwalin sighed.  "During Mirkwood I thought we were going to die.  Then in the dungeons I wasn't sure if you were going to make it and there would have been so many regrets I would have to live with."

"You're not the kind to live with regrets," Nori muttered.

"I would have regretted this," Dwalin reached over and took Nori's hand in his.  "Never getting the chance to explain myself to you."

"There's nothing to explain," Nori pulled his hand free.

"Won't you give me a chance?"

Nori gave a slow nod.  Dwalin took Nori's hand again.

"Nori, I love you," Dwalin said.  "And I mean it.  I want you happy.  I want you to smile and laugh and by Aule, I want you to steal things.  I don't want anything you can't give me.  I won't force you into anything you don't want or you can't give."

"And how am I suppose to believe that?" Nori asked.  "When you let me go, I traveled all over Middle Earth.  I fell in with thieves and mercenaries; with my people.  They taught me how to weave knots out of thread and they taught me what I am- a burden.  I was to be coddled and pitied and looked down on because I'm broken.  None of them wanted me because I didn't deserve them and I certainly don't deserve you."

"This isn't about deserving anything," Dwalin said.  "I love you for all your faults.  You're not broken to me."

"I can't," Nori shook his head.  "You know I can't.  I don't know how to anymore.  I don't think I can."

"Then tell me why you gave me these," Dwalin pulled out the knots.  "Tell me why these are mine.  You feel something, Nori.  Tell me what it is."

"I can't," Nori shook his head and pulled away.  "I can't trust my heart anymore.  It's been so wrong before."

"Then trust my heart," Dwalin put Nori's hand on his chest.  "Trust me when I say I love you and I always will."

Nori took a shuddering breath, his eyes damp.  Leaning against his shoulder, Nori picked up the first knot.

"Light," Nori said.  "You're like the sun only more reliable.  No matter how dark things get, you've been there to help me out."  He picked up the second.  "You bring peace to me.  When things were going wrong and I couldn't feel anything you brought me peace.  Strength because you're strong and you make me stronger.  You make me want to be better.  And hope is for what you give me.  You make me believe in a better future."

Nori was shaking like a leaf and his breathing quickened.

"The last one?" Dwalin held up the Everything knot.

"You're everything," Nori whispered.

"Nori-"

"No, let me finish," Nori said, taking a shaky breath.  "When things get hard, you're there.  When I was at my lowest, you were the only one who didn't give up on me.  Even when I betrayed your trust, you still had faith in me.  And when you hold me, when you touch me, I know that I'm safe.  I know that no matter what happens you'll catch me and keep me standing and safe.  And... you take my breath away."

Nori moved then so he was standing in front of Dwalin, hands still linked.  Dwalin reached forward instinctively and wrapped his hand around Nori's head, bringing their foreheads together.

"You stole my heart," Nori breathed, his voice thick with unshed tears.  "I'm the thief but you stole my heart.  I don't know how I could have thought differently.  How could I possibly stand by you and not be moved?  How could I not fall in love?"

Dwalin heard enough.  He closed the distance and kissed Nori, long and deep.  Nori's free hand clutched Dwalin's side and he made a small noise in his throat.

"Then why did you leave?" Dwalin asked.  "Where were you for all those years?"

"Running away," Nori shifted until he was cradled in Dwalin's arms, head on his chest.  "I wasn't sure of you.  I'm still not sure of you.  All I know is that I want you and I need you but I can't.  I can't give away myself again.  Not after last time.  But you were there and you were always so strong and patient with me and you never wanted more than I could give and I didn't know what to do.  I thought things would get better if I was away."

"Did they?" Dwalin asked even though he knew the answer.

"How could it get any better than this?" Nori asked.

* * *

Dwalin and Nori found an inkist in Laketown.  He wasn't nearly as skilled as the dwarves, but he was good enough for them.  Nori slipped his shirt off and Dwalin stared.  The scars were faded away but in their place were swirls of black ink.   _Beloved_ was on his right shoulder, next to a puckered scar.  On his back was a butterfly, Ori's name hidden in the design.  Beside it, a bumblebee with Dori's name.  All up his left side was a blossoming sapling.  Nori caught Dwalin's eyes and smiled.

"I took your advice," he said.

Dwalin didn't hesitate to kiss Nori breathless, even if the inkist seemed scandalized.

They left the shop hours later, hand in hand.  Across their wrists was one word.

Everything.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Once again I think the ending got away from me.
> 
> But it is what it is.


End file.
